El trayecto de una mujer, de atea favorable al aborto a católica pro-vida.
Jennifer Fulwiler

Jennifer Fulwiler

Una revolución sexual

Austin / Cultura – En mis días de defensa del aborto, leí que en ciertas sociedades antiguas era común que los padres abandonaran a los hijos no deseados, dejándolos que murieran de frío. Estas historias me parecieron tan desconcertantes como horrorosas. ¿Cómo podía suceder algo así? Nunca entendí cómo culturas enteras podían apoyar algo tan evidentemente espantoso, cómo algo que la sociedad moderna mira como una maldad impensable podía gozar de tanta aceptación entre grupos tan grandes de personas.

Dada mi profunda pena al enterarme de estos crímenes contra la humanidad, encontraba muy irritante que los grupos pro-vida se refirieran al aborto como "asesinato de bebés". Obviamente, nadie estaba a favor de matar a los bebés, y sugerir que aquellos de nosotros que defendíamos la libertad de elegir defendíamos esa postura era un insulto a todos los bebés que a través de la historia fueron asesinados por sus sociedades "dementes". Nosotros no estábamos a favor de matar a nadie. Simplemente creíamos que la mujer tenía el derecho de terminar con el proceso de gestación de un feto si enfrenta un embarazo crítico. Era lamentable, pero ese era el sacrificio que había que hacer para impedir que las mujeres se convirtieran en víctimas de embarazos no deseados.

En aquella época yo era atea y tenía poco contacto con círculos sociales religiosos. No obstante, a medida que fui buscando a Dios y abriendo mi mente al cristianismo, no pude sino entrar en contacto con los grupos pro-vida con mayor frecuencia, y me puse a la defensiva sobre mis puntos de vista. Una noche estaba discutiendo el tema con mi marido, quien estaba re-examinando su propia postura a favor del aborto. Él hizo un comentario al pasar que me hizo reconsiderar el tema: "Se me acaba de ocurrir que ser pro-vida es ser –pro-la-vida-de-otras-personas", dijo en broma. "Todos están a-favor-de-sus-propias-vidas."

INCOMODIDAD CRECIENTE

Su comentario hizo que me diera cuenta que mis puntos de vista a favour del aborto me habían colocado en la posición de decidir cuáles vidas eran dignas de vivirse, y hasta quién es humano. Yo, junto con los doctores, el gobierno y otros abogados del aborto, decidiríamos dónde trazar esta línea crucial. Cuando me encontraba con sitios web católicos o libros que afirmaban que "la vida se inicia con la concepción", me burlaba, como era mi costumbre; no obstante me di cuenta que estaba cada vez más incómoda con mi defensa. Me di cuenta que mi criterio para determinar cuando empieza la vida era de una vaguedad angustiante. Le estaba entregando la carga de la prueba a los fetos, para que ellos me demostraran que son humanos, y yo era un juez severo. Me di cuenta que miraba para otro lado cuando oía de cosas como las ecografías en 3D que mostraban a los fetos tocándose la cara, sonriendo y abriendo los ojos en etapas de desarrollo durante las cuales todavía consideraba que el aborto aceptable. En la medida en que la tecnología moderna mostró más y más evidencia que los fetos también son humanos, yo simplemente desplazaba la marca de lo que yo consideraba humano.

En algún momento empecé a sentir que estaba más decidida a seguir siendo pro-aborto que a analizar honestamente quien era humano y quien no. También empecé a ver este fenómeno en otras personas dentro de la comunidad pro-aborto. A medida que empecé a investigar temas como el aborto tardío a menudo quedé atónita al punto de sentirme físicamente mal al descubrir el nivel de maldad que la gente normal puede soportar. No podía creer lo que mis ojos leían al descubrir que profesionales razonables e instruidos justificaban el infanticidio con toda calma simplemente llamando a las víctimas fetos en vez de bebés. Ese fue el momento en que mentalmente di un paso atrás con respecto a todo el movimiento pro-aborto. Si esto es lo que significaba ser pro-aborto, yo no era pro-aborto.

Sin embargo, aún no podía catalogarme como pro-vida.

Admití que probablemente yo también me había mentido a mí misma para poder mantener mi apoyo al aborto. No obstante había una tremenda presión que me impidió mirar el tema con objetividad. Algo dentro de mí me gritaba que no permitir a las mujeres hacerse abortos, al menos durante el primer trimestre, no era justo, en el sentido más nefasto de la palabra. Incluso a medida que me acerqué a la religión, mentalmente hice a un lado la idea que probablemente todos los humanos tengan un alma eterna que les ha sido dada por Dios, que es digna de respeto y consideración. Descubrir cuándo recibimos esa alma se puso muy complicado, siendo la respuesta más obvia "en la concepción", en vez de algún punto arbitrario durante la gestación. No fue sino que hasta que revalué los puntos de vista de la sociedad sobre el sexo que habían perneado la conciencia de mi grupo de semejantes que fui capaz de liberar la presión interna que sentí y mirar el aborto de manera decidida.

SEXO Y CREACIÓN DE VIDA

Por haber crecido en la clase media secular estadounidense, yo veía el sexo como algo desconectado de la idea de crear vida. Durante toda mi niñez no conocí a nadie que tuviera un hermanito o hermanita; a tal grado que cuando los padres del barrio hablaban de embarazo era para decir que estaban contentos porque estaban "listos". En las clases de educación sexual en la secundaria, no aprendimos que el sexo producía niños, sino que el sexo sin protección producía niños. Incluso recientemente, antes que nuestro matrimonio fuera bendecido por la Iglesia Católica, mi marido y yo tomamos un curso sobre cómo construir un buen matrimonio. Era una serie en video de un grupo cristiano no-confesional, y en la parte sobre "buen sexo" jamás se habló de niños. En todo el tema de crear lazos y hacerse masajes y la intimidad y mantenerse en forma, lo más cerca que estuvieron de relacionar el sexo con la creación de vida fue una breve nota que sugería que las parejas debieran discutir el tema de la anticoncepción.

Durante toda mi vida el mensaje que escuché fuerte y claro, era que el sexo era para obtener placer y crear lazos, que su potencial para crear vida era meramente tangencial, casi al punto de olvidarlo. Esta perspectiva fue la base de mi visión sobre el aborto. Dado que, por defecto, veía el sexo como algo lejano a la posibilidad de crear vida, pensaba en los embarazos no deseados como algo similar a ser alcanzado por un rayo cuando uno va caminando por la calle –algo totalmente impredecible e inmerecido que le sucedía a las personas que tenían vidas normales–.

Mis puntos de vista pro-aborto (y me imagino que las de muchos otros) estaban motivados por una preocupación amorosa: simplemente no quería que las mujeres tuvieran que sufrir, que tuvieran que devaluarse a sí mismas encargándose de embarazos no deseados. Dado que era una parte inherente de mi cosmovisión que todos, salvo aquellos que sufrían de resaca, en algún momento tenían sexos, y que en circunstancias normales el sexo sólo se trata de la relación entre las dos personas involucradas, me vi atraída hacia una de las mentiras más grandes y tentadoras de la historia humana: el enemigo no es humano. Los bebés se habían transformado en enemigos por su tendencia a aparecer y arruinarlo todo; y tal como las sociedades se sienten tentadas de deshumanizar a sus congéneres humanos al otro lado de la línea durante tiempos de guerra, yo también, y nosotros como sociedad, habíamos deshumanizado lo que veíamos como enemigo del sexo.

A medida que leí los puntos de vista de la Iglesia Católica sobre sexo, matrimonio y anticoncepción, todo cambió. Yo siempre había asumido que las enseñanzas católicas contra el control de la natalidad eran ideas anticuadas, incluso lo vi como un intento poco disimulado para oprimir a los fieles. Sin embargo, lo que me encontré, fue que esas enseñanzas expresaban una manera fundamentalmente diferente de ver el sexo. Y cuando descubrí esto, nunca más vi al mundo de igual manera.

¿CARGAS O BENDICIONES? De la manera como yo siempre lo había visto, la idea generalmente aceptada era que los niños son cargas, excepto por unas pocas veces en la vida cuando todo puede andar tan perfecto entre la pareja que ellos ven una nueva vida como algo positivo. Descubrí que la perspectiva católica es que los bebés son bendiciones y que si bien se pueden evitar los embarazos por razones poderosas, si vamos tan lejos como para adoptar una "mentalidad anticonceptiva" —creerse con derecho al placer del sexo pero odiando (y tal vez tratando de obviarlo por completo) sus propiedades generadoras de vida- no sólo le estamos faltando el respeto a este acto que está entre los más sagrados, sino que empezamos a mirar la nueva vida como el enemigo.

Me di cuenta que el uso generalizado y la aceptación de los anticonceptivos en nuestra cultura significaban que la "mentalidad anticonceptiva" hacia el sexo era ahora la actitud por defecto. Como sociedad, dábamos por sentado que teníamos derecho a los aspectos agradables y de relaciones que conlleva el sexo incluso cuando nos oponemos a la nueva vida que de ello pueda surgir. La opción de abstenernos del acto que crea a los niños si los vemos como una carga había sido eliminada de nuestro léxico cultural. Incluso si embarazarse fuese una crisis de proporciones, de todas maneras teníamos derecho a tener sexo. Si esto es verdadero –si fuese moralmente aceptable para que la gente tenga sexo incluso cuando creen que un niño les puede arruinar la vida- entonces el aborto, tal como yo veía las cosas, tenía que ser aceptable.

Idealmente, yo debiera haber tenido una mirada objetivo respecto a cuándo empieza la vida y basado mis puntos vista solo en eso, pero la mentira era demasiado tentadora. No quería escuchar demasiado sobre corazones latiendo, almas o actividad cerebral. Terminar los embarazos simplemente tenía que ser aceptable, porque llevar un embarazo a término y transformarse en papá es un tremendo asunto, y la sociedad había dejado muy en claro que el sexo no era un asunto tan tremendo. Mientras yo aceptara la premisa que tener sexo con una mentalidad anticonceptiva era moralmente aceptable, no podía considerar que el aborto pudiera no ser aceptable. Parecía inhumano obligar a las mujeres a enfrentar consecuencias que alterarían sus vidas de por vida por un acto que no se suponía que tendría consecuencias que alterarían sus vidas.

Dada educación, la idea católica que siempre debemos tratar el acto sexual con asombro y respeto, tanto así que debiéramos simplemente abstenernos si nos oponemos a su potencial creador de vida, era un mensaje revolucionario. Ser capaz de considerar honradamente cuando empieza la vida, abrir mi corazón y mi mente a la maravilla y dignidad de incluso el más diminuto de mis congéneres, no fue capaz para mí hasta que no comprendí la naturaleza del acto que crea estas pequeñas vidas en primer lugar.

Todos estos pensamientos habían estado filtrando en mi cerebro durante un tiempo y me di cuenta que estaba cada vez más de acuerdo con las posiciones pro-vida. Y una noche me convertí oficialmente y abiertamente pro-vida. Estaba leyendo otro relato de las sociedades griegas donde los niños recién nacidos eran abandonados para que murieran, preguntándome cómo las personas normales podían hacer algo así, y sentí que un escalofrío me recorría: yo sé cómo lo hacían.

En ese momento me di cuenta que personas perfectamente buenas y bien intencionadas –personas como yo misma- pueden apoyar tamañas maldades por el poder de las mentiras. Por mi propia experiencia, supo cómo los griegos, los romanos y personas de otras sociedades podían ponerse en un estado mental tal que podían dejar a un recién nacido abandonado para que muriera. Las verdaderas presiones de la vida –"no podemos mantener a otro niño", "no podemos tener a otra niñita", "no tendría una buena vida"- los hizo susceptibles a la tentación de deshumanizar otros seres humanos. A pesar que las circunstancias eran diferentes, el mismo proceso me había pasado a mí con el movimiento pro-aborto y con cualquiera que se haya sentido tentado de deshumanizar a personas que les resultan incómodas.

Sospecho que mientras esos padres griegos entregaban a sus recién nacidos para que alguien se los llevara, comentaban lo poco que se parecían estas pequeñas criaturas a sus otros hijos: no podían hablar, no podían sentarse, y seguramente esos pequeños bostezos y sonrisas eran sólo reacciones involuntarias. Apuesto a que se referían a esos niños con palabras diferentes a las que usaban para referirse a los hijos que conservaban. Tal vez los llamaban algo así como "fetos".


__________________
Jennifer Fulwiler es una diseñadora de páginas web que vive en Austin, Tex., con su marido y sus tres hijos. De ser atea, en 2007 se convirtió al catolicismo y escribe sobre su conversión en: http://www.conversiondiary.com/. Jennifer Fulwiler escribió este artículo para la revista America: www.americamagazine.org .


 
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