Aprendiendo a escuchar el llamado de Dios. Aliste las velas y prepárese para un viaje absolutamente fascinante. ¿Quién sabe a qué orillas Dios te habrá de llevar?
Helen Prejean

  Seguir la corriente Helen Prejean  

Nueva York / Religión – Cuando a una la invitan a escribir un artículo sobre la "vocación" es muy útil si uno ya está escribiendo un libro sobre el propio llamado espiritual, tal como lo estoy haciendo en este momento. De hecho, la semana pasada escribí:

Discernir la vocación no siempre es fácil, pero una señal inequívoca que estamos siendo llamados es que la idea es recurrente: ¿Por qué no lo haces? Sabes que quieres hacerlo. Y lo podemos imaginar, y no podemos deshacernos de la idea, y sabemos que vamos a tener que darle una chance para que nos deje en paz. Pero no es como estar obsesivo o compulsivo, que es algo que viene de algún miedo muy profundo. Cuando una vocación encaja con quienes somos, al concretarla sentimos que nos convertimos en una persona más fuerte, más verdadera, a pesar que el camino sea duro y a ratos nos podamos sentir confundidos y cansados. Vale la pena destacar el tipo de "cansancio" que sentimos. No es esa fatiga triste y pesada que acarreamos como una fiebre baja, una forma de depresión. El trabajo de vida demanda desgaste genuino. Nos desgastamos, tal vez nos agotamos. Pero la energía que fluye de nosotros se siente natural, exactamente lo opuesto a sentirse tironeados por los otros, que tienen sus propias ideas sobre lo que debiéramos estar haciendo. Cuando dejamos que esto suceda, nos sentimos rencorosos, irritados y tristes.

Yo no me siento rencorosa o irritada o triste, así que supongo que mi barca debe estar navegando por las aguas de mi verdadero llamado. O mejor aún, mi llamado dentro de un llamado, porque, tal como lo sabrás si has estado metido en esto por algún tiempo, el llamado está en permanente expansión –pero no en el vacío, porque el llamado cristiano siempre llega de esta manera: seguir, imitar, encarnar a Jesucristo–.

MISERICORDIA, NO SACRIFICIO

En mi vida he seguido la corriente como una Hermana de San José, y tal como se han dado las cosas, la nave de la religiosidad ha probado ser una nave confiable para mí. Por un tiempo me sentí llevada a tratar de modelarme como una monja ejemplar, hasta que la corriente se llevó mi embarcación para que siguiera a Cristo para un trabajo muy especial y único: acompañando a los presos que esperan el cumplimiento de la sentencia de muerte, estar allí para ellos lealmente, visitándolos, apoyándolos, sirviéndoles, rezando, consolándolos y confrontándolos, amando, escribiendo y haciendo que otros les escriban y los visiten. Siempre tratando de mostrarles la cara, incluso mientras otros los amarran para matarlos –incluso cuando, en un servicio a la sociedad, el estado dispone de sus vidas de una forma legal y que cuenta con el apoyo popular respaldado por encuestas que dan cuenta que sí, esto es lo que la gente quiere: tu muerte–. Y estar allí para ser el rostro, para ser la presencia, para darles seguridad, decirles, testimoniarles, incluso en los últimos instantes de sus vidas: "Tú eres un hijo de Dios, tienes una dignidad que nadie te puede arrebatar. Mírame a mí, mírame mientras te matan, mírame y seré el rostro de Cristo para ti". Entonces, tal como San Juan en su Primera Epístola, escribiendo, hablando, viajando, proclamando lo que han visto mis ojos, escuchado mis oídos y palpado mis manos –el hombro tembloroso del condenado camino a la pieza donde lo aguarda camilla– es decir, la Palabra de Vida.

Este es el asombroso viaje al corazón del Evangelio de Jesús: amar, perdonar, no permitirse tener enemigos –al menos que no duren mucho–, sentir los sufrimientos de los otros como propios y luego dejar caer las piedras a nuestros pies, ya sin poder para arrojarlas a otro. El llamado, lo oigo, lo sigo oyendo, de enseñar a la gente, de seguir teniendo planes de estar con la gente, de ayudarles a navegar por el más grande viaje del corazón: de la venganza a la compasión, derecho hacia el corazón de un Salvador misericordioso. "Ve y aprende lo que esto significa. Lo que deseo es misericordia, no sacrificio".

EL TRAYECTO DE MI PROPIO CORAZÓN

Mi propio corazón se dirigió primero a los condenados, luego tardíamente a las familias de sus víctimas. Tardíamente porque al principio no me di cuenta, no escuché el llamado que me decía que no debo tomar partido, que debo estar allí en compasión para las familias de los perpetradores como también para las de las víctimas. Después que Patrick Sonnier fue electrocutado en 1984, el primer hombre al que acompañé, leí consternada cartas en contra mía escritas al editor de un diario de Nueva Orleans. Mi alma no se sintió tocada por el enojo de estas personas porque yo estaba mimando a un monstruo cruel e insensible. En ese aspecto, mi alma se sentía pura, sin asomo de culpabilidad. Ellos simplemente no comprendían. No habían presenciado la tortura, la angustia, la futilidad de su muerte.

No, la culpa me vino porque había desatendido a las familias de las víctimas. "No nos tiró ni una migaja", desconsolados padres dijeron a la prensa. Tenían razón; yo estaba equivocada. No los había acogido. Tenía miedo. Fui cobarde. Tenía miedo de su enojo, de su quemante rechazo. Así que me mantuve alejada.

Pero estaba equivocada. La culpa fue saludable. El nuevo llamado de Dios estaba en la culpa. Escuché la angustia de mi propio corazón. La culpa empujó mi nave hacia aguas nuevas. Me acerqué a las familias de las víctimas a pesar de su enojo, rechazo e insultos. Mi sufrimiento no era nada, no tenía valor alguno, al lado de la tremenda pena ante la irrevocable, violenta y desgarradora pérdida de sus seres queridos.

La Gracia me esperaba.

Primero llegó a través del corazón grande, amoroso y compasivo de Lloyd LeBlanc, cuyo único hijo David había sido asesinado por Patrick Sonnier y su hermano. Lloyd y yo oramos juntos y muy pronto estaba sentada a la mesa en su cocina, comiendo con la familia, siendo perdonada por ellos por mi tremendo error, acogiéndome casi como a una hija.

Todavía al escribir estas palabras, mi corazón todavía se llena de gratitud. Lloyd LeBlanc fue mi primer maestro. A través de él pude darle un vistazo al sufrimiento que soportan las familias, que un día se despiertan y todo está vivo, alegre y normal y por la tarde se enfrentan al hecho inalterable de la muerte de un ser querido.

Todavía estoy aprendiendo a escuchar el llamado de Dios.

En la primera revelación del corazón de Dios en las Escrituras Hebreas, Jehová le dice a Moisés ante la zarza ardiente: "He visto el sufrimiento de mi pueblo y los he escuchado llorar".

SINTONIZADA CON EL LLAMADO

Yo tenía 40 años de edad cuando finalmente escuché el llamado de Cristo de que sirviera a los pobres. Me tomó todo ese tiempo despertar al llamado del Evangelio de tomar una opción preferencial por los pobres. Me fui a vivir con pobres y esforzados afro-americanos en Nueva Orleans, y con ellos empecé a aprender lo que es la lucha de vida o muerte por la justicia. Sorpresivamente, con alegría, a raíz de la solidaridad de la lucha, aprendí a rezar de una manera que nunca había rezado.

Ahora, manteniéndome en el camino, como lo hicieron Jesús y sus discípulos, me mantuve sintonizada para el llamado que ya viene, esta semana, este mes, para ayudar a lanzar una nueva iniciativa para movilizar a los 66 millones de católicos de este país para terminar con la pena de muerte. Nos llamamos la Catholic Mobilizing Network, y trabajamos en colaboración con la Conferencia Episcopal Estadounidense, que en el 2005 inició la Campaña Católica para poner fin al uso de la pena de muerte. Y lo invito a que se nos una.

¿Puedo sugerirle un libro –uno de los mejores que hay– sobre el llamado sagrado? Si mis palabras incitan el deseo de su alma para seguir el llamado de Dios más ardientemente, este libro, como un compás fiable, dirigirá tu camino. El libro se llama A Sacred Voice is Calling: Personal Vocation and Social Conscience, de John Neafsey (Orbis Books).

Ahora aliste las velas y prepárese para un viaje absolutamente fascinante. ¿Quién sabe a qué orillas Dios te habrá de llevar? Si no resulta ser a la vez aterrador y sorpresivo y también una aventura, no es el llamado del Evangelio de Jesús. Disfruta el viaje.
__________________
Helen Prejean, C.S.J., es la autora de Dead Man Walking y The Death of Innocents. Su próximo libro, River of Fire, se publicará en 2011 por Random House. Publicado en www.americamagazine.org


 
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